I'm so ridiculously angry right now.

When most people feel pain and anguish I feel anger. Sure I have that initial pangs of hurt, but it soon turns to anger, usually after I cry about it for a minute,

I have tried to adopt a happier disposition. I have, really. I am trying to stay positive. I am taking up meditation again. Focusing on the inner me, but something happens it seems daily that just has to knock me back twelve steps.

Maybe I should take up martial arts again. Maybe hitting a sand bag will make me feel better.

I don't know.

I guess to know I will first have to understand people. One person actually. And no matter how hard I have tried I don't. I don't understand their actions. I don't understand the shit that comes out of their mouths. I don't understand them.

At all.

It boggles my mind.

Soon after my mind is boggled the anger comes.

I had a problem taking out my anger when I was younger on those around me. I would lash out. But my mom quickly taught me that just because I am having a shit day it does not give me the right to spread my shitty attitude to anyone that was unfortunate to cross my path.

I hold that lesson dear. No one should suffer because I am angry.

Why doesn't everyone else's mom teach them this lesson.

And for that matter why doesn't everyone else's mom teach them to keep a promise.

I don't make promises very often because I refuse to break a promise.

Maybe I am loyal to a fault.

Maybe I should finally take my mom's advice and worry about my happiness first before anyone else's.

We all should realize that most of the advice that our mothers gave us is true and we should have listened way before the age of 33.

I know I am being vague and I promise to divulge more later. I'm just not ready.

Right now I'm pissed.

And its giving me a headache :/

Thanks for letting me rant.

Be good to each other.

Hug a stranger and be kind to someone just because.

Peace, Love and Sunshine

Michelle